Self-esteem refers to how much personal-value we believe we have. While having high levels of self-esteem can feel great, we often judge our worth on our achievements, comparisons to others and to what extent we suspect we are well-liked. For example, if I did better than others on that exam, then I can feel proud and this will boost my self-esteem. However, we can’t always be the best at everything and the pressure to continually evaluate ourselves in this way can be exhausting. And what tends to happen when we don’t meet these high standards, is that we feel badly about our inherent value and tend to criticise ourselves.

 

At Open Dialogue, we work with clients to instead build self-compassion so that we recognise that the human condition is imperfect, and that we are always worthy of support and nurturance. This helps us feel more connected to each other and less isolated. Self-compassion doesn’t demand that we evaluate ourselves positively or that we see ourselves as better than others. Rather, the positive emotions of self-compassion kick in exactly when self-esteem falls down; when we don’t meet our expectations or fail in some way. Our therapists can help you to embrace yourself with a sense a kindness, connectedness and emotional balance.